Confronting people and things that are sources of stress and problems in ones life is always a hard thing to do. Nobody likes it and many people hate it. This has been on my mind a lot this week because a friend of mine is being treated like actual dirt by her roommate. Everyone goes through their lives and has different struggles to deal with, but many people are afraid to deal with them. They may accept that theres nothing they can do, that they deserve to be treated that way, or simply they’re just too afraid to speak up. I understand being afraid to speak up for yourself, but i think that shying away and electing to not confront something is the dumbest choice for situations like these. People will only continue to treat you how they want to and in ways that only benefit them until you speak up and prove that you arent a door mat. It’s always hard to do, but confrontation is always necessary. it keeps the issue from going on any longer and getting worse, it makes people realize you have a spine and you deserve to be treated like a person, and it makes you a stronger person for it.

8 Replies to “confrontation”

  1. I agree that confrontation is necessary when it is needed. A lot of people would rather be stuck in their current situation rather than to simply talk about their emotions. I understand that it is harder for some people than others, and this is exactly what people take advantage of. You remain passive and they keep pushing and pushing you and do whatever they want because they believe you aren’t going to do or say anything because that is what you have done in the past. As a person who would rather confront people than to be suck in a terrible situation, it is hard for me to see friends who continue to be passive than to take action. However, it does take reaching the breaking point to deal with their problem rather than ignoring it. While letting things build up and then exploding is not ideal, it is however, better than nothing.

  2. I agree with you, confronting people may be scary for certain people but at the end of the day, people are only going to treat you the way YOU ALLOW THEM TO. I have had many circumstances where a friend of mine was treating me badly and it was just going south, but eventually I stopped letting my friends do this to me and I confronted them. Sometimes confronting people does not do anything though because some people really just do not care. The act of treating them the way they treated you comes in to play at this time. Treat them the way they treat you and see how long the relationship will last. Tell your friend to literally just start treating his/her roommate the way they treat him while confronting them. Maybe they do not realize what they are doing and need someone to open their eyes.

  3. Confrontation is a thing that many people struggle with, especially me. As I’m a very shy person I really have trouble saying how I feel to people and in general talking to people. Usually when I have a problem with someone I keep it to myself, just to avoid problems and to not cause arguments, because I truly hate irritating people. I also do not like to confront people because I feel like I always say the wrong things, so therefore me confronting someone would be a waste of time. People also never expect me to confront a problem because of how nice and quiet I am. Honestly I really wish I could change this and be able to be a stronger person when it comes to having a problem with someone.

  4. Your blog really touches home base for me, because I too didn’t have the best relationship with my roommates. It was probably one of the worst times I have ever been in, as I felt like I had absolutely no one for months. I absolutely hate confrontation so I just held it in and let life continue. I allowed them to walk all over me and just forced my mind to believe that it was fine. I allowed them to take away my first semester in college experience, and that where is I made the mistake. Finally, I talked to them and we blew it over. I will never forget those months and the emotions I felt. However, those couple months was truly a blessing for me in the end, as it allowed me to grow into an independent person where I am able to look back and just laugh.

  5. I believe that you should always speak your mind but try to come across not as hostile. When you hold in your issues and do not address the issue with the person you have the problem with it can cause more conflict. If you do not speak your mind, then others will run over you and not respect you. As you stated that it is bad to hold things in, people sometimes have to get comfortable enough with speaking their mind.

  6. I don’t know what exactly your friend situation is. But I have seen one of my friends confronted her roommate. Since she posts everything on social media, so I know the whole cause and effect. she uses to endure everything, such as her roommate never clean up the room, her roommate brings her friend to their dorm and stay up the whole night. Her roommate action had influenced her sleep schedule and her daily life. Recently, she reports her roommate and because of board members of the school come help to solve the issue she finally can have a good sleep and live in a clean space. For her example, I want to say since we are all adult, something we should just say it. Confronting doesn’t mean we have a bad temper or we are a bad person. It’s a way that we defend yourself.

  7. I do think that addressing people when you have disagreements is very important. However the word confrontation has a negative connotation that seems to imply an argument will occur. People can discuss their differences in a constructive way without creating more problems that make the situation worse. When people do address the problems it can be very difficult to actually get to that point because sometimes facing what is bothering them is equally as troubling as whatever might be bothering them. It does make you a stronger individual when you face your problem instead of pushing them aside and telling yourself it’s ok. However it can also fall on the other side of the spectrum. Some people in life confront every single problem and they make a huge scene out of nothing. These types of people should know that sometimes you have to accept things as they are and that very small things that happen once are not worth getting mad over.

  8. I can agree with your thoughts to some degree. As someone who does not like conflict, I try to avoid confrontation as much as possible. If I am able to just walk away from someone then that’s what I will do. However, when I know I am being manipulated and walked upon, I take on a very different tone. I would make it very clear that I do not appreciate the way I am being treated and try to compromise with them. There are just those people that will always be rude or use for their own gain. those types of people I simply avoid.

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