Living with Divorced Parents

So last blog means writing about something that I know a lot about: having divorced parents. Yesterday in my Diverse Families & Children’s class we were talking about blended families and man do I absolutely have one. My dad and mom got a divorce around 7th and 8th grade, but I don’t really remember. I didn’t really care that she was leaving because she treated my dad horribly. The only issue about my mom leaving was having a mother figure. My dad eventually met Dee, my stepmom. When I first saw a picture of her I was convinced my dad was getting cat-fished and I even told him to his face that he was. I finally met her and at first I thought she was a single gal just living her life, but I was wrong. She has three children: Ariana (15), Ryan (13), and Mya (11). I really hated her, like you know how you see evil stepmothers on TV and everything. That’s what I thought she was to me.We literally fought everyday and most the time she would be so sweet to me and buy me stuff but I was just somewhat using her to get stuff…yikes. But back to the family. I have had two different experiences with divorce. With my dad and my mom, it was a nasty, horrible divorce. With my stepmom and Joey, her ex, it was literally the best ending divorce which sounds weird to say. Dee and Joey  were best friends when they got married. They were both young and in the marines so they decided to get hitched. Their marriage was very bad, but they made sure their divorce was civil for their kids. In contrast, my parents marriage was bad and ended bad.

Having a blended family can be extremely difficult at times, but most the time it is very enjoyable.  I have four “real” sibling: Morales (25), Francisco (21), Creighton (17) and Sophia (11). I have three step and one “half” brother: Angle (3). Throughout my whole 19 years of living, I have only known what it is like to have to wait after  five kids to get their food so I can get my own food, how it feels like to share a room at the age of 19 and constantly figure out what to get all 200 of my siblings for holiday or birthdays. I will never know what it is like to be the only kid or have 1 to 2 siblings but that is okay. Living with a happy, large, loving family is way better than a small, miserable family. I have to admit I get jealous of the people I know who do only have 1 to 2 siblings because they get to go on more vacations and have more trips out of the country, but I can’t thank my own two parents for giving me everything I have ever asked for and more. They have made it so that I am capable of living out my dream with soccer and gaining happiness from the traveling I do from playing soccer. My whole family takes up a whole bleacher at soccer games and they are beyond supportive at every game. So yea, having divorced parents is rough but I think having y dad unhappy for the rest of his life would kill me inside. I see him happy as can be and that makes me happy.

The BEEP

Okay so if you didn’t know I am on the soccer team here at VCU. Every, pre-pre season, fall and spring season we have to run what is called “the beep test”, but we call it “the beep” aka the worst thing to all soccer players who aren’t fit. This test is somewhat like the pacer and there are many different versions of it, but this one is a 20 meter shuttle run where there are beeps for each level you go up to, hence the name Beep Test. It goes up by .1 every time you get to a different score. For VCU the minimum you are supposed to get is 11.2 but with put coaches you wanna make sure you get at least two more above that because they aren’t afraid to mark you down at all.

My experiences with the beep is fine, but most say it is good. The very first one I have ever ran was during pre-pre season, which is two weeks of captains practices where we wake up at 7 am every day. For that one, everyone stopped at 11.2 just so we could get a solid base line of where everyone was at going into the real one. Mind you, you basically have to work your butt off all summer to get  a good passing score. I passed the first “practice” beep test, so it helped me a lot with my confidence going into the actual one. Then for the real test, I was pretty much pooping my pants because I was so nervous. I wanted to be the first freshman to come in and show my coaches how fit I was and how much I wanted it. When it was my time for my group, which was group 2, to go I got stuck next to the fittest girl on the team, Alyssa Tallent. This girl is so good at timing the beeps and getting to the line, I tried my best to stay with her because if i wanted to get a passing score I needed to stay with her. Throughout the whole test I was running with here then it got passed 11.5 and I knew I could go longer. The guy talking got to 12.3 and I had to get one last sprint in before I was completely done. I got 12.4 on that test and it was the highest freshman score and I got fourth place out of everyone.

This spring season we have to do it twice. I have already don’t it once so far and it was right after we came back from winter break and over break I was working out and running everyday just so I could pass the test that was coming up. It was literally two days after we got back and I was standing in my lane ready to run it again. This time I wasn’t really as nervous but still pretty nervous.  The started o count up and up and I just kept running. I got to 12.7 and that was the score I have ever gotten in my whole soccer career of running the beep. I got the high score as well, so go me. Now I have the second spring beep tomorrow and I swear I am going to throw up. I have to get either 12.9 or 13.1 and I have a hurt foot/toe. I have a bunion and turf toe and if you didn’t know both are extremely painful and the worst things to be playing on. My trainers were even questioning how I am playing because my toe is super swollen and it’s killer pain right after I play. I just say its the adrenaline. But as for tomorrow I am screwed and I feel like I am more game fit then actual beep test fit and yes there is a big difference. SOO let’s pray I don’t fail and I don’t cry while running it.

Summer 2018

**this was supposed to be for last week but got deleted**
So I had a hard time coming up with a topic for this blog. I think I sat here for about 45 minuets trying to think of something to even write about. I already made “a student athletes day” blog, a my family blog and all that, so I really had no idea what to talk about. Then I went on twitter and saw something that I related to. This girl had been in a mentally and physically abusive relation. I don’t know if anyone has seen it but my friend literally was like “Yoooo have you seen this?” and I said no and she proceeded to question why anyone would stay in that relationship. Well I have somewhat of an answer. I used to not talk about it but more and more I see my friends in very mentally abusive relationships it makes me want to say something and for them to have someone to relate to.

It was December and I had just called it quits with a guy who already put me through the wringer mentally. I was a huge mess. Like if you can picture a girl in a long relationship and then breaking up and their balling their eyes every two seconds, yeah that was me. I was extremely vulnerable. Then this kid (I say kid because he was so immature) came into my life. He was a junior and I was a senior. Everything was perfect for like two months then something in him changed. He became very, VERY protective and insecure. It really clicked to me that he was crazy when he said that I shouldn’t go to practice and just hang out with him. Well if you knew me back then I was so crazy for this kid I did anything he said. I started lying to my parents about going to practice, which was the biggest mistake I have ever made. It was right after his birthday late January when he started to be mentally abusive. I got called worthless, pathetic, stupid, fat, ugly, slut (sorry tried to keep it PG) you know it I was called it. Once he called me fat I stopped eating all together. He told me I should look like this model he was obsessed with and would show me pictures of the skinny girls from my school and would say I needed to look like all them. First of all I am a soccer player…we got muscle haha. What made it worse was after he would say some awful things to me or even “play” hit me, he would buy me things or take me to dinner. When I say “play” hit me, he would like slap my thighs or punch my arms and laugh thinking I was okay with that. But anyways, after my dad realized I didn’t eat anything he would start saying “I am going to take your phone away, if you don’t eat”. I couldn’t say no to my dad so I started to “eat”. I then thought it was a good idea to start throwing up my food. Not good. My day went wake up, school, high school practice, come home eat a piece of bread maybe apple sauce, go to club practice then dinner which I barely ate to begin with. Then it was graduation, I weighed a solid 125 ish. Pretty average for my height and build. Then the summer came, we broke up like the very beginning of summer, but this kid was still finding ways to make my life hell. He would text me I’m ugly or fat. I was so mentally frustrated, sad, exhausted that I believed him. I ran and did my sprints for like 4 hours out of the day and maybe ate eggs or like a smoothie after. I came into preseason weighing 119 and looking like a stick. Fast forwarding, thankfully I had my two amazing roommates that showed me eating was what would make me a better player and  that I am beautiful inside and out. They don’t know it but they really forced me to eat. We ate literally every second of the and I could really feel myself becoming the old, happy, energized Amber.

I think every girl deserves a MAN who is going to love them for who they are. Girls shouldn’t have to be model thin or have flawless skin for someone to love them. Everyone makes mistakes and mine was winter 2017 to summer 2018.  Yes, girls stay with the kids who hurt them, but from personal experience the person makes you feel like you need them and that is so not true. Everyone needs and deserves happiness. I know its not easy but loving yourself is something that is majorly important in one’s life. and can be very beneficial. I wished I realized how special I was and loved myself like I do now. I still have like my off days and days that I feel unwanted, but you just gotta keep pushing through because there is always light at the end of the tunnel. BUT if anyone ever need helps or just someone to talk to, I’d like to say I am pretty good at relationship advice!! Feel free to reach out.

Nail Polish? Nail Polish.

Like always, I had no idea what to write about. I am sitting in study hall right now with my best friend bored as anything. I already finished my psychology quiz, now I am just chilling. Then I looked at my toe and wow they are extremely hideous. You know when it gets above 70º basic girls start to wear their birks, me included. They’re at that stage where the nail polish is still there but like barely and have like spots on my nails. I just bought the cutest nail polish at dollar tree. Yes, dollar tree. Who knew dollar tree would come in clutch. So my best friend and I decided it would be a good idea to paint these bad boys. As I was walking to my apartment, my eyes were glued to my feet while walking. I don’t know if that is weird or not but I was staring hard. When I came back to study hall I started to paint them. Then I got to questioning, why do girls paint their nails? Like I totally understand it is a “norm” for girls to have their nails looking nice, but who decided to get paint, put it on their ten toes and fingers and be like wow this is going to be a girl thing. It makes me very curious. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting my nails done and my feet scrubbed, but who decided to make nail polish? I know so many guys, usually football players or athletes, who get their feet done. No nail polish or anything, but do get their feet like massaged and all that jazz.

I usually get my nails done either like white or black because it just goes with anything. But there was this one time when I went to get them done the lady doing my nails told me all black looked like I was goth. Okay, now who decided that black was going to be a goth color? Maybe I think black looked good at me. Sure I wear a lot of black but seriously I am no where close to goth. Right now I don’t have my finger nails done because I like to get acrylic, which are fake nails. Then that leads to another question. Who thought of the idea of getting plastic or whatever they are and putting them on your nails with glue? Then how did we come up with the SNS power where it hardens and makes your nail and the fake nail come together? I don’t know why I am typing a blog about nail polish but who the heck thought it was a good idea for girls to get their nails done? Like we have to have them done to look nice and normally for special occasions. It is just a lot of work and expensive to go get a mani/pedi, but then if we try to do them ourselves our right hand is normally messed up and are toes are a hit or miss. So basically girls can’t win. It either drop a ton of money OR have your nails look like trash.

Living with 10

So first of all understanding my titles is going to take a little bit of explaining. Okay here we go. I have 8 siblings, no not from the same mom but basically. I have two wonderful, amazing, marine parents. I grew up with only my dad and four other “real” siblings till I was in 8th grade. It was difficult going through those times without a mom so all my friends moms told me they were my “mom” whenever I was with them. But then summer going into freshman year of high school my dad met this amazing woman. She was young and beautiful. They met at a Avenge Sevenfold concert ( I don’t know what that even is) that my dad was working, which now we all work at, and my dad said he could recognize a marine when he sees one but on the other hand she did not. They hit it off that night. Surprisingly my dad still pulls and got her number. As far as I can remember I was introduced to her around my 16 birthday. She had 3 kids making it 8 total kids. Life went on she moved in with us and then boom she got pregnant. Good looks dad because I really wanted a baby sibling to grow up with even though I told him I didn’t want anymore siblings. I gained one of my biggest fans on November 6. So there it was 9 DiOrio-Daroczy children. There was Mo (25), Frankie (21), Amber (19), Creighton (16), Ariana (15), Ryan (13), Sophia (11), Mya (11) and last but certainly not least Angle aka Chico (3).

I always get people asking me, “Wait, how many siblings do you have?” or “How do the holidays work?” or my favorite “Are you parents crazy?” I want to say, “YES! I gladly have 8 siblings.” and “Holidays is probably the mot fun time of the year.” and “Yeah, my parents are something else.”  I never expected my life to be the way it is but I am so beyond grateful to have such a supportive, loving, caring, loyal family. I really don’t get it how people can be an only child. I mean I have 100% thought about how different my life would be, but I also think being alone would make me so much more shy and less independent. I have learned so much from all of my siblings growing up. For example, how to handle different situations and how not to ask my parents if I could go out after they yelled at my siblings for something. With being in such a huge family, we each have a buddy and mine is Frankie because we are closer in age, are exactly he same and both play soccer.  Basically it is like a buddy system if my whole family goes out. No one forgets anyone. It is really hard to be away from them all the time, but they always try to make it to as many games as they can and are always talking about me whether that is in their schools or in the work place.  To be honest, they make me feel like I’m some famous person, but hey ill take it. Even though I have such a large family, we always go out and do things together. We don’t try to be the “normal”, stereo typical family. We all have our own different personalities and thats what makes my family unique. One person can be very artsy and the other can be super sporty, but we all accept each other for who we are. And that right there is what it is like living with 10.

A Mental Mistake Many Athletes Make

So for this weeks blog I decided to write about athletes, again. One of my teammates from my old club wrote this for one of her classes and posted it on twitter.  Her name is Jenny Riemer and played for Elon’s women’s soccer team.  I found every word of it true and I thought I write my take on it . Jenny was and still is a very dedicated athlete and someone I looked up to so much which I was younger. She did just graduate so having her speak about this in female athletes I think is going to help other athletes. She also spent four years playing a sport at division one level, so I found this relevant to myself and what I go through.

One of the things she says within the article is the difference between a baseball player and some one who plays baseball. My take on this is someone who just plays baseball is someone who doesn’t play this game with heart, yes they maybe very competitive but this doesn’t mean that they truly love the game.  They are athletes also but when you look at a baseball player it is a whole different ball game, no pun intended. A baseball player or any sports player is a individual who “eats, sleeps, and breathes the sport” and I agree with Jenny on this. I personally think this person never goes a day without thinking about the sport or when they are going to miss a practice, game, lift, conditioning you name it are extremely devastated and feel like they are disappointing the coach, team, and parents.

That gets to the whole point of the piece. Jenny talks about how mental health and how it doesn’t exactly translate within the athletic community.   “The CDC describes mental health as “an important part of overall health and well-being. Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act,” said by Riemer. I’d have to agree with her on this because there is more to mental health than when people think it is just depression or anxiety. Also as a female athlete I know how hard it is to not want to let anyone down and I know from a fact that drains you mentally. Soccer is a sport that many people think is “easy”. Okay, can you run on average 9 miles a game, pass a ball while sprinting to help the next pass immediately, or can you tackle someone who is maybe 2 times your size and still remain on your feet? You have so many more responsibilities than just cheering on the team. If you don’t play, you have to remain positive even though you think you’re a good player, but if you don’t remain positive this idea of you’re not good enough attacks your brain and makes you want to quit or even stop working for your spot back. If you’re exhausted and feel like giving up, from person experience taking a few days off is  important. Self-care and reflecting on why you are playing the sport will help you realize why you’re doing what you’re doing. Feeling upset, stressed, angry, or fatigued is okay and taking the time to replenish your body is okay too. You shouldn’t push your body physically and mentally to a point where you break down. Like Jenny says, “Your life is on your terms, don’t let anyone else prevent you from taking care of yourself and putting yourself first.”

https://www.mpowherathlete.com/mpowher-blog/mental-mistake-many-athletes-make?fbclid=IwAR3vCZtncjUj1bm339TDOyTytSw7ncHhFppSaf4DlfM9X-4fSz5TJR9MxLo

New #7 Part 2

 

Here is the second part of my letter to the new person wearing my jersey that I talked about before.

I know this is long but this number is apart if me. I grew up playing soccer everyday whether that is from Patriot soccer or McLean practice, I always had a ball at my foot. I couldn’t say I am a “legend” at patriot, but I was pretty well known and if you are wearing this jersey PRETTY PLEASE take care of it. It also is a little stretched out because I tuck my shorts into my spandex and I like my jersey big. Okay so Payne wants us to give you some advice and the one thing that is huge to me and the coaches is always do your job and while doing that job work your hardest. No one likes that person who doesn’t move left two feet to get a ball when you pass it to them. Always be vocal. No matter what you do TALK!! Oh something I learned was if the ball was clearly going off you on the sideline for a throw in pick the ball up anyways and throw it in quickly. The refs are a little slow on that aspect so just do it anyways. This number has been through so much, championships, loses, mud, long bus rides, break ups (( don’t date when you’re in season Payne literally hates it and boys are asses unless you have a good relationship than you’re straight )) anything you can think of i’m about 99% sure it has been through it. I guess all the hard work and leadership I had while wearing this jersey has got me to where I am right now typing this message and that’s playing on VCU women’s soccer team. I really hope that you love soccer as much as I did and this team makes you the happiest person in the world because for me it did. Playing on that gorgeous field under the lights was the best memories throughout all high school. You may have a different experience with your career here but love the game no matter what. Everything happens for a reason. I was told I would never make the team by so many jealous girls, but now look where I am.  Let those haters motivate you to be the best you possibly can be.

    I can’t wait to come meet you and see you ball out in this amazing number. If you ever need anything like advice on school, soccer, boys or just wanna walk and become friends I am so down. I am no scary at all I promise haha. Good luck this year!! ALways listen to Payne and Foley and most of the time the center backs. They  know what they are talking about. OHHHH ps I always ate gummy worms before a game, I know not healthy blah blah blah, but they’re maybe some wrappers in the bag. Another thing KEEP THE DUCKS PAYNE GIVES YOU!!!! I am proud to give my jersey up to every has it. Wear it with pride! (:

Life of a Student Athlete

Every since I can remember I played soccer. I have plenty of pictures of me when I was four or five kicking a ball and having my hair in pig tails. My dad put me in all sorts of sports when I was in elementary and middle school. He wanted me to be a versitile kid and to become very athletic. I don’t remember a time that I was going to practice, practicing or coming home from practice. My dad was a division one athlete at the Naval Academy, so I knew he wanted at least one of his kids to follow in his footsteps. When I reached high school that’s when my dad told me I needed to stick to one sport that I was going to focus on to get me into college and so training every day of my life for soccer began. I tore my ACL in 8th grade and seriously thought I never was going to make it to playing soccer in college, but that didn’t stop me for trying out for the best soccer team in Virginia, McLean, and also my high school team, Patriot. Fortunately both my coaches took me on their teams and I started and played every game all four years of high school and at McLean. Both these two teams grew me into the player I am at this moment. Now the fun part was trying to juggle playing at a higher level and managing school. I remember junior year I was completely done. No one quite understood the stress that was getting put on me for being in four AP classes and trying to perform my best at practice which was usually 8:30 pm to 10:00 pm every night. Some how I did it, even though I wanted to quit everyday. Sometimes it made me wish I played golf or was artistic, so I didn’t have to put that much stress on my body every day with little sleep. In the summer going into senior year, I committed to play division one soccer here at VCU. I had reached my long term goal of my whole life to make my dad proud by following in his footsteps. All senior year that’s all I was into. Everything I did was to help prepare me for playing with the big league. I took somewhat easy classes, a few AP classes but from what I can recall I was running everyday and trying to get as many touches as I can as much as I could in one day. I really don’t know how, but ended up with a 4.2 GPA my senior year and I was not complaining. The one thing that sucks about playing college soccer is that I went to VCU in July for pre pre season. I basically had no summer but the good thing is I was with an amazing team who inspires and pushes me everyday to be the best that I can be. In the fall, that is when our season really picked up and trying to maintain above a 3.0 while training everyday, traveling every weekend and having games all the time was actually the biggest struggle of my life. But guess what? I made it and now I am in spring season and I am currently dying. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have class from 8:00 to 9:15 then 9:30 to10:45 then 11:00 to 12:15. What makes it worse is that on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have to go to practice and conditioning at 12:30, but my last class is all the way in Temple and I have to full on sprint to make it Siegle before our vans leave for the field. It is the hardest days of my life hands down.

New #7

So for my high school soccer team my coach asked us to write a few words to the next person who gets our jersey and mine was #7. Here is part of my letter:

Dear new #7,

 

    First of all congrats on making the varsity team. Hopefully it is a big deal as it was for me. So to get this letter started I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Amber DiOrio. I played on the varsity team all four years and was captain since sophomore year, but if you’re an upperclassman you already know who I am and how much of a pain in the butt I was. I was the center back so you already know I was a talker. You can even ask Payne how much I scared her. I was told so many times by her that she was scared of me, which is actually funny as hell because Payne was the sweetest coach around and she had one of the scariest girls on her team. Anyways…I’m going to keep this somewhat short and so sweet to the point where I am sobbing writing this. This jersey means a whole lot to me. I grew up in that number. It has taught me so many things like how to lead a team, how to protect that team, and how to be respectful. I would have to say freshman and sophomore year I got into a lot of fights on the field and it was mainly with refs, but I seriously hate all of them and they’re all slow and dumb. Oh watch out for this young, lady ref with long hair and her short brother who looks like a hobbit. They are the worst ever. Also, I am so sorry that jersey has plenty of blood stains, make up stains and who knows when we beat battlefield last year in the championship there may be a little pee. HAHA whoops. I learned a lot and I mean a lot from Foley and Payne. Foley taught me it is okay to let loose and be yourself on their field. He showed me it’s okay to have people laugh at you when you’re doing something that you love. When I was and underclassman Foley would always take me to subway and the jersey was always in my bag, so if you ever have time ask about those trips. We have so many memories. Payne taught me that family over everything. You may not like someone you’re playing with but you’re a team and being a teammate comes first. You can hate each other off the field but on the field you guys better be best friends or you’re going to run pyramids till you guys are besties.

Valentines Day

Valentines Day.

The worst holiday of all the holidays. I have had the worst luck with this holiday. Being single on this day is especially BAD. Let me tell you, I hate seeing couples post on instagram and twitter about how happy they are to have this person and all that jazz. Like we get it you’re in a relationship congratulations. Don’t get me wrong my best friends/roommates are in a relationship and I am happy for them, but even they don’t like valentines day. One of them even said they wish their guy would treat them this way more often. I totally agree if you love this person so much on this one day, why can’t you do it more than just on February 14? I have no personal experience with being in a relationship on valentines day and that is probably something that may change my mind if I was, but being single on Valentines day for 19 years makes me buy myself the chocolate and the cute stuff that is on sale the weekend afterwards. One thing that I appreciate the most is when I was younger my dad would buy me and my sister stuff, but he would always comment that we weren’t allowed to date till we were in our 40’s. Since I’m at college now, I wonder if maybe I’ll get something in the mail and if I still have to wait till I’m in my 40’s to date. As the day keeps approaching, I just realize that this day isn’t really all that big of a deal. I remember in elementary school Valentines day was when you get cards from everyone of your classmates and your teacher would make sure, especially on the list of names of the people in your class, that everyone got one just so people didn’t feel left out. Then during middle school we start obsessing with the idea that we want that perfect relationship on Valentines day where they get surprised with a giant teddy bear or some flowers. Then high school comes along and reality hits us because we start to think about how lonely we are. Maybe those elementary school teachers were trying to give us some love and a good valentines day before we get smacked with the realization that we are single and were going to spend this day alone. I also wonder what guys think about this day. Do they get stressed out? Do they find joy in getting their person gifts and spending a large amount of money on someone? I feel like if I was someone buying stuff or planning stuff for my significant other I would be beyond stressed. Maybe Valentines day should be mutual and the girls should be doing the same thing. But hey I really don’t know. This was just a rant about Valentines day and how much I think it’s stupid holiday. Many people have different experiences with February 14, but I have had the same since 1999, alone and almost all the time with my day and my fellow single people.