Not Afraid

As I’ve said in previous blogs I have a fear of public speaking. A fear I’ve had for a while and recently been trying to push myself outside of. I’ve also talked about a Christian group on campus called InterVarsity, where we meet up every Friday night and worship/learn more about God & His plans for us.

Earlier in the week, I asked Paul (the worship leader) if I could sing, play (guitar), and talk a little about a song that has meant a lot to me. The song “Not Afraid” by Redrocks Worship talks about the confidence we have through God’s faithfulness.  I also shared a verse in the Bible (before playing the song), John 14:27. In John 14, Jesus was speaking about the promise He gives us through the Holy Spirit. Then in verse 27, Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”. Similar to the song, it shows me how God will give me His peace, which is far greater than my own, where I don’t have to be afraid of simple fears. The more I jump out of my comfort zone the easier it becomes and the more I thank God for calming my nerves enough to share with others in that way.


“Not My Week”

Many of us have been told that we need to fail to succeed. That something good will come out of what you’ve lost to. Even though it’s SO much easier to feel defeated. The past few weeks have been pretty challenging, trying to stay in a positive mindset when so many negative things happened around me. I kept telling myself, “alright, this isn’t my week, next one will be better”, but each week began to throw new challenges at me.  My grades were dropping & I couldn’t identify what I was doing wrong. This brought me back into bad habits from last semester, staying up late and waking up very early for my 8ams.  It led to me getting sick with a cold and feeling worn down (mentally & physically). Although it wasn’t great in the moment, I find that in this struggling time is where I learn/grow the most.

Sometimes I learn new tricks, but most of the time I remember. I remember how to motivate myself, to pick myself back up from defeat, and to identify where I fell short, so I can improve next time. Sure, these were hard to see in the moment, but now that I have more time, I can reflect on what I’ve experienced.

Success for me comes through trials I have. I’ve never been the student with straight A’s or the student that understands the concept the first time (congrats to those who do have that skill though, that’s a great skill to have!), but if you struggle like me, know that grades don’t define you. If you are putting forth an effort and reaching out to the resources provided, you will find growth in that, even if the outcome wasn’t what you were hoping for. Just don’t knock yourself down. Your worst enemy is yourself, it is SO easy to push yourself down. Use this energy, except in a positive way! Build yourself up, one day at a time, so when life really throws a curveball at you, you’ll be able to get back up stronger than last time.

Many of my blogs are for myself, these words are for me to remember, writing out the good that comes from the bad is what helps me continue forward and what motivates me. Find what motivates you & go for it, find the positive out of the negative, and don’t give up after small failures.

Working in the Pharmacy

I’ve worked at Kroger pharmacy as a pharmacy technician for about 8-9 months. My dad also worked in the pharmacy in college and suggested it was a good job to have on a resume. I took the position knowing I’d only be able to work 1-2 days a week during school, and thankfully it’s provided me enough money to make monthly car payments and a little money left over for myself.

As a pharmacy tech, we’re responsible for entering prescriptions into the computer, counting prescriptions, releasing them to the patient, and many other small jobs. From working at Kroger, I’ve learned to be patient, to listen, and to understand.

Working at Kroger has helped my memorizing skills. I’m a person you have to tell twice before I really remember something, so it was difficult for me at first to really listening to what the patient was asking me. Some patients it’s hard to understand them, whether their voice is damaged from smoking or if English is their second language. Working in this atmosphere has helped me listen and communicate better.

Constantly people ask us where other items are in the store, but since that isn’t our department we really don’t know where anything else is. If we had more time it would be ideal if we familiarized ourselves with the store, but in the pharmacy, it’s usually nonstop. We also come across many rude customers, some people don’t understand the stress that is put on us. We stress over time, recently Kroger has cut our hours, which leaves us with fewer technicians and more impatient customers. We want to be fast at what we do, while also making sure we efficiently count prescriptions without error; some customers don’t understand, they’ll complain about the time, but we’re doing the best we can do.  For me, it’s very easy to take it personally, but I know I’m doing everything I can to make sure the customer is happy.

I’ve learned you never know what’s going on behind the scenes. Maybe you’re in a rush, but you never know what others around you are dealing with. Some patients come to the pharmacy straight from the doctor, or they’re going out of town (where they need to pick up their medications earlier); it’s best to be more aware of the situations around you and be more compassionate of what others are going through. By looking at a different perspective, I’ve seen a lot of growth in myself.