I want more time to myself. I live in a room with two other guys. I share 5 showers and 3 bathroom stalls with upwards of forty dudes. Since coming to VCU, I have had little to no time to spend on myself. I feel that this is harmful to my development. I need to read things. I need to continue to better myself. This is very hard to do when you’re shoved into a human filing cabinet.

I constantly find myself being roped into the activities of my room mates and hall mates. I’ll be in the room, doing homework, reading, or playing music, when I’m asked, “Hey, wanna go and _____?”. It is much easier to accept the invitations rather than continue going about my own business. This is surely my fault as well, but I know things would be different if I had my own room with a door, and did not live on campus. I would be able to spend time on myself. I would be able to learn things and develop my beliefs and personality. I would be able to write music and become a better musician.

Spending time on yourself is essential to personal development. I would be an entirely different person today if I did not value my alone time and use it to better myself. I am much more able to focus and actually be productive when I am alone. I find that my concentration is broken by other people daily, often times multiple times per day. I also often feel that my brain is constantly “on”. I rarely am able to give myself a chance to recuperate or unwind with my current living arrangement. I believe all of us should spend time on ourselves so as to develop our own beliefs and not fall into the trap of the mob mentality which can be so easy to do on a college campus.

Make time for yourself. Don’t let yourself become the same person as all of your peers. You are valuable and you are different. You do not share all of the same experiences with your peers, and this is not only okay, this is preferred. We are able to be great because of our differences. We are able to use our differences in order to solve bigger problems which one person may not be able to solve on their own. Be your own person. It will pay off in the long run.

5 comments on “On being alone

  • Nice post! I feel like the way you talk makes you more introverted than extroverted. I feel the same way, people tend to tire me out and I value my alone time. It helps me come back together and focus on what I need to do rather than what I want to do. I live with a roommate too and although he is fine, my hall mates are not, They are loud and obnoxious and disrupt the whole building. I absolutely can not wait til I am living in apartments next semester. Best of luck with finding your alone time. Thanks for the read!

  • I definitely agree that being alone and taking time to one’s self is highly important in bettering one’s self in anything. But as you’re taking time to yourself, don’t completely isolate yourself. Although there are many ways to better yourself BY YOURSELF, there are also a plethora of things to be learned by other people. Don’t get me wrong- sharing 5 showers and 3 bathroom stalls with a bunch of girls isn’t my ideal situation. And although I love my roommate to death, I know she’d rather not listen to me sing the same 5 phrases over and over again or listen to the same melody just so I can write down the right rhythms and intervals for dictation. I learn a lot from the people around me. People are able to provide different perspectives and ideas, ones you might’ve never even thought to have existed. I don’t disagree that spending time to yourself is essential to personal development, but with that I believe spending time with other people, especially those who have different opinions and perspectives than you, is also essential to your personal development.

  • Time to yourself is important and if you feel that pressed you could always find a quiet place to do things. I know it’s not the same as having your own room but it could definitely make you feel a little better. Maybe a coffee shop that’s not busy at a certain time of day, or rent a room to yourself in the library to study by yourself and watch TV or something. Point is you can find solitude you just have to look for it.

  • I think the points you make about having alone time are great. Having too much alone time can can be detrimental to your mental state, but having a balance is ideal. I would be careful if you are thinking about living on your own because it will make it easier to avoid others if you ever get into a depressed mood. Sometimes living with a couple people in a house or apartment is a good way to keep you mentally sound. I think that you are saying you want at least some kind of alone time rather than none at all. I just wanted to let you know that living on your own and not having much human contact because of it is not the best, speaking from experience. This can, and probably will, vary from person to person. Some people deal with solidarity better than others and may be able to function better that way.

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