November 7, 2015
Looks pretty good, Harpreet. Please be sure you’re hyperfocused on technology and its effects on the brain. It’ll be important to establish the effects of multitasking, generally, but that should be foundational for the larger argument about tech effects.
The ending of your thesis is a bit rough. There could definitely be some rewording done. I think that your main points are pretty interesting. I could believe that excessive multitasking could lead to anxiety disorders, all that commotion going on driving you nuts. I think that #1 for main reason 1 could be the ending of that point and could be a great transition if you started with #3 of main reason 2.
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