I always felt like expressing complex emotions and rehashing memories, both bitter and sweet, would tremendously help a healing heart. There is something about being heart and understood. Sometimes all a person needs is to feel less alone. It is easy to feel alone and misunderstood in such a world as we live in today. It’s easy to be hurt and it is hard to trust.
It’s unusual (at least in my life right now) to be in a room with people who only send feelings of love and acceptance out. It’s so unusual that it takes me a minute to adapt to the change in environment. People so often walk around thinking only of their problems. We perpetuate feelings of loneliness by thinking day in and day out, “I am the only one with these feelings.. with this pain.” I realized over the past year that those feelings are only true from where you stand.
I can surround myself with people who choose love over fear. I can surround myself with people who live honestly instead of trapping themselves within their lies. Whoever I surround myself with is my reality. I can live in a judgement free world if I so choose. Or I can keep walking the streets of Richmond feeling out of place and alone.
Twice now I have been to Verses “Open Mic”. Slam poetry is such a deep and vulnerable thing. I feel so honored to be part of a crowd who aids in someones journey to mental and emotional health and balance. I find it to be such a beautiful thing that a person can stand on stage and take a memory or emotion filled with so much pain and make it into something beautiful. The person on stage shares his/her pain, anger, betrayal with the rest of the crowd till each of us has a sliver of it in our hearts and it becomes something manageable; something less of a burden for them. I leave open mic with stories of other peoples pain and I don’t feel weighed down by it. Instead, I feel more alive than I did before I went. I feel understood.. less alone… I feel grounded.
Of course, it’s not only poems sadness and pain. There are also people who share beautiful poems of memories with lovers, parents, siblings, moments in time where they felt connected to everyone and everything else.
I won’t lie, there are lots of days since moving to Richmond where I feel I don’t have somewhere to go where I am understood and welcome. Entering such an honest and open atmosphere is definitely uncomfortable and challenging, but that discomfort is GOOD. It means you’re close to the truth. Being that close to truth, and honesty and love is uncomfortable. For me, at least.
This discomfort is a challenge in it of itself and a huge reason why I will be going back to Verses.
I have been working so hard for so long to move through certain memories in my life. They are amongst the hardest obstacles I face. Not a lot of things inspire me to revisit those memories and the feelings that are associated with them, so when I do something that feeds the strength to face and deal, I know that I have to continue whatever it is that makes me feel strong. One day I want to stand up there and tell people about the things that have brought me pain and bring me joy in my life. The feelings I see on the faces of people on stage after telling their stories looks so beyond worth it.
If anyone reading this wants to go one day to Verses with me, I would love love love to go. 🙂