I was very happy to be assigned the move journal. About two months ago I started making an effort to go to the gym everyday and l keep track of my progress. I usually hit the arc machine. This journal exercise was particularly easy for me because I always do 50 minutes on the arc machine at a moderate speed, so it was easy to keep track of what I was doing. I wasn’t a fan of the website used for tracking…I thought it was a little busy. I prefer Lose It! app. It made me proud to be able to see all of what I’d been doing and keeping up with my resolution.
I kind of appreciate the idea of self deception and how prevalent it can be in a business/corporation setting and how that can perpetuate itself and inspire a negative culture within an organization. Putting it into those terms made it more accessible for someone like me who isn’t particularly fond of a more touchy feel approach.
It made it easier for me to recognize those things in myself (like gossip, rumours and other negative behaviors) and stop justifying them to myself as much as I had in the past.
I’m sad because its inspired me to go out and find healthier coping mechanisms to deal with some of the negative habits I’d gotten into (sad because I’m a senior). I hope making better habits will make me better and be more sustainable.
This weeks blog post requirement is very near and dear to my heart. On Tuesday, a friend of mine from work passed away and it tears me apart. I didn’t show him how much I valued him and I feel a lot of guilt about that. I had meant to reply to all of the texts and facebook messages, but I got too busy and didn’t..which was a huge mistake. He will never know how my Easter went…and I’ll never ask him how his was. It makes me feel like a terrible person.
It made me realize how I need to be more purposeful and kind with my actions. I am going to do my best everyday to be kind. I am going to stay interested and up to date on my families and friends lives, life is too short. Sometimes just answering a text message is all it takes to let someone know you care. I called all my friends and close family members for an update…it made them feel cared for. It made me feel loved. It was great.
I want to go into everything with a little more kindness. I’m not sure when I’ll be given that opportunity again. I’m going to strive to talk to people with care instead of condescension.
I’ve enjoyed taking this class because its given me better insight on how to treat people with anxiety and depression (that aren’t myself and I can’t hold them to my standards of treatment).
Doing the personal mission statement activity was extremely helpful to me. It gave me tangible goals that I could hold myself to and an action plan that I can follow.
I want to be more thoughtful in my actions. I want to think more about what I say and how I treat people. At the end of the day, if you don’t have quality relationships, then what do you have?
I’m pretty happy with my career path and how I’m treating/ handling it. I find myself to be very professional and pleasant. But I really want to change my personal life, and I think I’m at least one step closer to that now.
, My understand of emotions have changed drastically as I’ve grown up. As a child, I thought emotions were a bad thing. In media, they were portrayed as a negative thing, needing to be controlled (or as a solely female trait…but that is a much bigger issue). So instead of trying to express them healthfully, I tried to repress the majority of them. I figured that would make me cooler or more successful.
When I hit puberty, it was impossible. I was feeling and feeling a lot and had no practice in how to express them. So I was subjecting people to this attitude that I thought was intensely personal. I was feeling something, everyone else must be experience their intensely different emotions. I didn’t realize that a lot of people were reacting or feeling things in response to other people. Emotions affected how people were conducting themselves.
After I figured that out, I realized I needed to change myself and my behavior. I looked at my friend group and made a list of what made me want to be around some people and what made me want to run away. There were certain attitudes and emotions that attracted me to some people, and repelled me from others. And many many others people shared these same feelings.
Unfortunately, I found a lot of the negative qualities in myself. I could identify specific instances of where I’d handle my emotions poorly and driven away people I’d cared about. I started to make choices that were positive, and express my emotions in a healthy way. I tried being more purposeful and mindful. I wanted to know how my actions were going to affect the people around me. I didn’t want to be the one to hurt them or cause them any damage, I wanted to build them up .
The more you build people up and the more positive spin you can incorporate in your life, the easier it is to keep cheerful people around you. It makes people gravitate towards you and generally enjoy their time with you. It leads to the creation and upkeep of higher quality relationships. There is an obvious incentive to focus on mindfulness.
Inside Out movie by Disney Pixar.
I guess I didn’t expect this to be such a spot on survey…and I certainly didn’t think it would be worth $15. But at the end of the day, I think it was a great investment. I know myself and my strength pretty well-organized, attention to detail, ect. This had more levels than that though. And the explanation and elaboration was particularly insightful. I learned more about myself and how to make the most out of my personality.
Learning about other people was also really interesting. I talked to a few people that had strengths completely different than mine, and things I either really envied or had never considered strengths until they were put into another light. There were some strengths that I thought could be lumped together until I heard there small differences really outweighed their similarities and made them very unique.
I could definitely see why some people had chosen their careers–because they so seamlessly aligned with their strengths. But it was also cool to see how some strengths are easily monetized. It was interesting to realize that peoples personalities are really defined by their strengths and that some strengths are more desirable than others.
The quality connections exercise we did in class on wednesday was eye opening. As soon as it was announced we’d be doing that, I wish I hadn’t come to class. I just wanted to be lectured at and be a passive participant in the day. And after thinking that, I immediately felt guilty. I then had to ask myself why I felt so fearful of interacting with a stranger. I mean, given the environment we were in, we had to have certain commonalities–so why was I so opposed? I started asking myself how I could ease myself into the situation, usually I could get on my phone or be a few drinks in.
I decided I was going to do my best to ask questions…real questions that I’d enjoy hearing answers to. Making comments that made an effort to liken us. It hit me that I hadn’t done anything like that in a long time. It was one thing to ask someone stuff to get answers I wanted to know, but it was another thing to get genuinely invested into another pesons life. And it felt great. I felt like a little kid again, trying to understand myself and another person around me. Even though I didn’t know this person, I felt less alone.
After that interaction, I decided to be deliberate and apply some successful things I’ve had in previous friendships to my current social interactions. I’ve been trying to be kind, honest, and attentive in my conversations. Just being fully focused on the other person and asking follow up questions goes a long way.
My successful friendships have been characterized by honesty, attentiveness, and dependability. If any of those three are lacking, I find it hard to build something strong. While these things are hard to cultivate and very time consuming, I imagine that with practice that they will become second nature. It is my goal to invest in better, more quality interactions so I can have a more fulfilling life.
In class, we came up with a list of qualities that we find in happy relationships and list of qualities we find in unhappy relationships. While all of us come from varied backgrounds and have our own experiences, these contributions to the list were similar and shared. There were just some things that we all expected from happy or unhappy relationships.
At the age of 22, I fall in the young adult category. At this point, relationships are starting to get more serious and the stakes and responsibilities are a little higher. Many young adults are planning for the next step whether that be pursuing career goals or building a family or a combination of the two. At this point, its not about popularity, or who has the cooler car or the best looking partner. There are new things to consider. If your job requires you to work somewhere particular or work a job that has odd hours, its important to look for someone who is pursing a similar job or at the very least is willing to work around your schedule. When finding a serious partner, its also important to decide if you want the sames things out of life (travel,family,location,ect) Not agreeing on any one of those things can create a lot of turmoil that is easily avoided. Compromising on one of those might leave the partner resentful.
On a more basic level, at this age it makes for a healthier relationship if you find someone with similar values, similar lifestyles and that treats you well. It is too frustrating to try to make a round peg fit through a round hole.
After doing the reading, I felt a little bogged down by the material. I knew that it takes certain qualities on both sides to make a relationship be successful–thats a no brainer. There are certain social competences you need to have. But I loved hearing the material come to life during the lecture (though that tree graph seemed ridiculous and hard to follow). It was interesting to learn more about the Socialization Vs. Social Modelling approach…and I think there is certainly truth to both unfortunately. I hope that after learning about it, that I can be a little more aware of how I’m letting things effect me and my ability to interact with another. Also. I can’t wait to see how my generation fares with divorce and parenting since many of us were exposed to it at a high volume.
I absolutely loved getting the results of the survey we took at home and interacting with them in class. It really brought the material to life and helped give me some insight into myself and how I compare to those around me. I can’t say that I was particularly surprised at my personal results. They all made sense, especially after recalling the answers I’d given to the quizzes. I was sort of surprised at the class mean was, I didn’t feel like I scored at all similarly.
The past two class lectures have been particularly interesting. As much as I liked hearing about the twin studies, it felt particularly bogged down in the biology of it all. The discussion of predisposition and drug use/abuse on decision making and impulsivity was fascinating. I also thought it was interesting that some people knew LOGICALLY that they should be answering a certain way on a test, but as time past they would revert back and give the wrong answer.
It was also really cool to learn about Phineas Gage and how exploring the physical trauma he experienced was able to prove how different parts of the brain affect personality traits. It led into a great discussion about brain development which isn’t something I’ve thought about for a while. I remember hearing that teens and young adults aren’t fully developed, but I figured that was just something the older generation said. But it made sense that if we aren’t fully developed and we are thrust into adult roles right before maturation, maybe we won’t make the best possible decisions.
I’m a weird combination of self-help enthusiast and cynic. I’ve read plenty of self-help books (thanks Mom) and did my best to live off the teaching of The Secret for a few months. For some reason, living off the teaching of The Secret seems way more logical to me then trying to incorporate positive lifestyle changes to improve my well-being. Maybe it’s because the self-help version is a lot easier…
Anyways, I know one of the challenges I’ll face with trying to bring intentional about creating a positive life perspective is the cheesey nature of the process. Something about it screams inauthentic to me. I tell myself logically that it isn’t, but I guess my preconceived notions about mental health impact my perception a lot more then they should .
I’m hoping that living life more intentionally will prove to be good for me. At the very least, I hope I’m able to create some healthy habits that might stick. I feel like a lot of my apprehension stems from feeling like my efforts or intentional thoughts are not as good as they should be, inferior to those living positive/healthy lifestyles around me.
I’m starting with some basic things about diet and exercise that are just generally making me feel better. I’m making the gym a positive place to be because I’m letting myself read fun novels when I run, which is a super helpful thing for me. Just spinning things I don’t like in a more positive or upbeat light helps a little, and I hope down the road it might even be a lot.
Well being is defined as ” the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy”. Everyone strives for some sense of well being, but it is honestly a very strange concept to flesh out or discuss. For me, it feels like a necessary struggle that is intensely personal and oddly telling.
Since childhood, we unconsciously go around trying to set up our world to maximize our comfort or happiness level and have a certain expectation of health. But I’ve noticed that as an adult, the struggle with maintaining a high level of well being becomes difficult. The stakes are higher and the ingredients for happiness and comfort become pricier, harder to get and never ending.
I have also noticed that the things that make us happy often conflict with healthy lifestyle choices and in order to achieve a good level of well being, there has to be moderation and balance. Especially in a college atmosphere where drugs, sex and booze come in a never ending supply. In a lot of ways, it was the promised land described in high school. As a freshman, I learned I needed new variables to make me feel “happy”, but it conflicted greatly with my health which creates a dissonance that I would greatly like to explore.