Blake’s project explores the use of Facebook in modern society, as does mine (but in a different context), so I am excited to see her final product! Her draft did a great job of capturing my attention. The purpose of her project is crystal clear: to explore the use of Facebook in today’s society and highlight ways in which we can manipulate its use to better our lives. She provides ample background information to make it understood what the purpose of the project is. The thesis is also pretty clear: “If we better understood the purpose of Facebook, we could use it beneficially to do so many things.” I feel that this is a debatable argument, and I also feel that Blake has done a good job of debating it.
There is significant evidence of research in Blake’s beta version of the inquiry project. In the section “Do You Use Facebook Correctly?” there are many internal citations, which is a good sign. However, the internal citations do not match the format of the sources listed in the “My Sources” section. By this I mean that in the “My Sources” section, Blake has her sources listed in APA format, whereas the internal citations appear to be in MLA format. This is a very quick and easy fix, though!
Blake’s sources, which she cites in the “My Sources” section, appear to be correct for the format she has decided to use (APA). In the conclusion, claims are tied together well to emphasize the final point: Facebook provides users with many options from sharing pictures and information to shopping and gaming, and if we take full advantage of all that Facebook has to offer it would make everything much simpler.
I think that everything in Blake’s beta project looks good. The claims she makes in each paragraph add to her argument very well and they flow smoothly. I do think that the way her project is organized could be tweaked a bit to make it easier to maneuver. I think that maybe it would be better if the sections were organized something like this: “Do You Use Facebook Correctly?,” “Social Media Popularity” and all the subsections, “Conclusions,” “My Sources,” and “About the Author.” Also, the internal citations should match the format of the works cited page! Other than that, everything looks good!
I read Mike’s beta inquiry project, and I was impressed. The topic he has chosen to research and write about is very interesting and the beta project looks great. The purpose is not explicitly stated, but it is obvious: to explore the benefits of tracking technology. The thesis statement is stated as “People should take advantage of tracking technologies, and learn how to use them properly to improve their lives.” There is ample background information provided to make it clear the purpose and importance of the project, as well.
There is evidence of research throughout the beta project through internal citations, and they appear to be, for the most part, correctly formatted. However, there is only evidence of five sources (the requirements state a minimum of eight). This is an easy fix, though! The research that is used appears to be substantive and adds to the argument of the project. Also, the points made in the project add to the argument that Mike is making quite well.
I think that the most important thing Mike could do for the final draft is to incorporate more sources into the project. Because the requirements list eight sources, it is very important that eight sources are used! Also, there was not a form of a “works cited” section, but Mike addressed that in his blog post in which he stated that he will be “adding an edited bibliography.” Overall, this project captured and kept my attention and was very interesting to read!