stability in instability

I have quite a bit of trouble in grounding myself, so I suppose I went into the idea of sitting and observing the ground with some expectations. Like I’d have the time to sit and stabilize myself with something so solid as the earth. But sitting there I couldn’t seem to fully connect like I wanted to. I tried to notice the stability of the earth but I couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine with confidence what was underneath me, I couldn’t rationalize why the ground was solid enough to hold me, what it was made of. I felt like the earth was shifting underneath me. And I suppose it is, with all the bugs and moles and creatures sifting under the dirt, the substances compacting and breaking down, the tectonic plates shifting, the earth spinning. I didn’t become aware of the stability of the ground, I became aware of the ever-changing nature of it. The instability. And I wasn’t quite able to ground myself in something that felt so enigmatic and temporary, but I suppose I was able to ground myself in the idea of the inconsistency. The cyclical nature and movement of life, every organism subject to the same thing. The earth isn’t some unmoving concrete slab, not something you can anchor to with the intention of being undisturbed. Life on earth means constant revolution, constant death, constant rebirth. The only constant is that it won’t be constant. I actually feel quite grounded now in that thought. As I change, everything around me changes as well. I’m a part of a process, just like the whole of the earth.

 

Additionally, sitting on the ground made me think about soil health, as I’ve done ever since I’ve started composting. For some reason it just makes me so excited to think about the ecosystem that lies underneath the dirt. The bugs and worms help turn and mix the dirt and break down organic material into nutritious humus, which in turn supports more organic material to grow, which in turn falls onto the earth and is broken down again. A book I came across once and I’m hoping to buy and read one day is Grow Your Soil by Diane Miessler. Improving soil health is of course an objective in order to grow great plants in gardens, but I also like the idea of doing it just because. I wanna give back to the earth, not just take from it.

 

4 thoughts on “stability in instability

  1. Grayson, I have become so intrigued about composting because of all the information you shared! Originally I saw it referenced on the show the Politician and became interested in doing it but had no idea where to start. I totally struggle with grounding myself too and meditating, something I wish I could get a grip on. Honestly with all the activity that occurs beneath the ground that practice could be total bs!

    1. yay i’m glad you’re interested in composting! it’s cool to witness and aid in the decomposition process and get excited about bugs showing up and stuff LOL. i do find grounding sometimes but i just couldnt find it in the actual ground ironically. wishing u much success in meditation and grounding in the future !

  2. Love this: “The earth isn’t some unmoving concrete slab, not something you can anchor to with the intention of being undisturbed. Life on earth means constant revolution, constant death, constant rebirth. The only constant is that it won’t be constant. I actually feel quite grounded now in that thought. As I change, everything around me changes as well. I’m a part of a process, just like the whole of the earth.”

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