feeling feelings

I kind of didn’t want to do this walk if i’m being quite honest. The idea of me, fully being alone by myself allowing myself to be myself is something i’ve been avoiding for a while.

The breeze is nice, and a good distraction.

I’m graduating soon and I’m fucking terrified. I’m supposed to go out and find a full-time job, and fully support myself in a global pandemic. My parents are offering to let me stay at theirs to save up, but I don’t know if I can handle living with them again. I spent five months with them since the pandemic began in march and my mental state was at an all-time low. The only job I have experience in is serving, and that sounds like the scariest job to have right now. I’d probably get sick from all the stress about catching covid. And I think I already had it in february and it was the worst I’ve ever felt, and really don’t want to experience that again.

Sky, leaves, bark, bird. I have to be grateful for what’s around me now. I’m closer than ever with my friends, my relationship with my boyfriend is blossoming, and I’m healthy.

I need to remind myself to be grateful for the now.

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