With today being Friday, April 12th, I am having a joint birthday party with my friends Chloe and Panchu. Chloe’s birthday is the 12th, Panchu’s birthday is the 13th, and mine is the following day on the 14th. We are having it at my cousin’s house on Grove Ave. and I am very excited to have a fun weekend with all of my friends for the first time in a long time. This will be my first birthday away from home and I am happy that I can spend it with people that I care about. Although it seems as if I have no worries about how it will go, I am always very anxious when it comes to my birthday for various reasons. Plenty of times throughout my childhood have things taken a toll for the worse when my birthday comes.
I feel as if on my birthday, I am the moist prone to wanting attention from everyone else even though that is not who I really am. The day usually starts off with me waking up and going downstairs to be welcomed by a variety of things to eat for breakfast. My family congratulates me on another year, we talk about happy things and then after about an hour, everything goes back to just the way it was. Several hours pass by and then I meet up with my family again and we go out to lunch and repeat what just transpired in the morning. I usually talk to some of my friends throughout the day and we all try and plan something, but they end up having work and can only talk for a few brief minutes. After the day has past with some events going on, dinner is typically the most interesting part of the day. We all enjoy ourselves with expensive food that we would not have bought any other day of the year and I get to indulge myself in a Carvel ice cream cake. Eating this cake is my favorite tradition, as both my dad and I really like the flavors and have incorporated it into our birthday routines.
So the long day ends up passing and it appears to have gone just fine right? Wrong. I still feel the constant need for others to check up on me for the special day and I go to sleep feeling like something was missing. Hopefully I can outgrow this narcissistic feeling and enjoy myself around those care about away from my family in an environment entirely on my own.