8:00 am: With all determination, I sit on my desk, focus on this blog post.
8:05 am: Where do I start? I don’t know what to write.
…. Blank…. Blank…. Blank
…. Mind is wandering off
…. Distraction takes over
9:20 am: Ok, seriously I have to get this done.
When I first read the assignment, I find it is very interesting and I confidentially say to myself – no worry, this is going to be easy. But in reality, not at all. That called fast thinking, or initial intuition, or automatically response, which are driven by the art of mind’s association. I experienced fast thinking’s false perception because the posed question is short, the words’ usage is simple and interest triggers. With some fascination in psychology, my brain would easily relate this question to my previous learning.
How does it feel when I think? As I am working on this blog post, when I can’t think of anything, I feel uneasy, distracted from thought like “this is so boring”, “I want to watch movie”, “I don’t know what to do”, “this isn’t working” and eventually my focus just slide off and my brain would ask my body to do something else like biting my nail or touching my hair ; as when I get into the flow, I feel words, sentences are floating around in my mind, trying to put the next relative matter from the previous thought into the chain. When I read a story, I think of myself in the character’s place, I would cry if he/she is sad, or laugh if it is funny, of course, the intensity of my reaction is depend on how closely my mind can associate the situation to my experience.
The idea of thinking is so vault to me. Sometime I feel like it is right there, but when I actually try to put it in word, I couldn’t do it. Even though I understand enough its definition and process. In conclusion, I find that thinking is the same as virtually going through an intertwined web then push those relevant matter to the surface, one by one, in turn of their impression to my brain. It is an automatic reaction that shapes my perception and drives my emotion. There is no way to still be conscious and isolate my mind from the surrounding or be in charge of my mind 100% all the time. There is almost always a voice in my mind that tell me what I am thinking and what my senses detect from my surrounding.