Finding My Tribe

Before coming to VCU, I talked to a lot of people about college and what to expect in my freshman year. The most popular piece of advice that I was given was to find my “tribe”. Of course, when people told me this, I wasn’t too worried. Making friends and talking to people was easy for me back in high school. Plus, everyone I talked to seemed to find their groups within the first year of college. However, it has been incredibly hard for me to find an actual friend.

My first semester was rough. I came from NOVA and knew only two people at VCU because we went to the same high school. They quickly found their groups and our communication became limited. I however was still searching for friends. There were many days where I was upset or angry at myself for still being alone. I joined clubs, went to school events, and try to be in public as much as possible. I tried talking to classmates, people in my dorm, even random strangers. Nothing I did seemed to work, and sometimes actually made it worse. I would see clusters of people walking or talking to each other. This would just make me feel lonelier and I started to isolate myself more in my dorm. Occasionally, I would make conversation with those sitting next to me in class, but that was it. As the semester went on, I separated myself more and more from others. I tried to only focus on school work and not what was happening outside. Weekends sucked because I was reminded that I had no one to hang out with. I was depressed and anxious all the time because I couldn’t find my “tribe”. These feelings were lessened during winter break when I was with family.

My second semester has been better. I would not say I have found my “tribe”, but I am being more social now compared to last semester. I have talked more with the people in my classes, helped classmates with assignments, and just been more open when talking to others. There are still many times when I feel sad or lonely. However, I try to force myself more to do something each day, even if I must do it by myself.

I came into college with a false expectation. I imagined having several friends before leaving for winter break. I thought that I would explore Richmond with the same group of people and have someone to talk to. I know now that it’s hard to find someone like me. I also know that I can’t be the only one struggling. I just sometimes wonder how many others are going through this.

3 Replies to “Finding My Tribe”

  1. From the beginning of the semester, I set out to make friendships as well. I became really close with my suitemates; therefore, I spent much of my time with them including outside our room. However, one day while walking to class I met a girl named Jailyn. We shared the same psychology 101 course. Every since we have met, we have been tight at the hip. You hardly see one without the other. I am beyond thankful for meeting her and developing a friendship. We connect very deeply and I could not imagine how my first year here at VCU would have been without her.

  2. I also thought that when coming to college the process of making friends would be the easiest thing ever. I was apart of Ram Camp so I had already meet some people because we were all in the same group, but as they semester continued most of us fell off. I actually ended up meeting most of my closest friends when me and this one guy were walking to the same class and didn’t know if we were in the right place. Then we decided to go to SOVO Fair together and I meet more of his friends and roommate and the rest is history. They are like my family and losing them would be painful. My point is that friendships sometimes come from the most random places, but they can be the ones who change your entire time here. I also learned that it is a two way street, you have to reach out to people to hang out or you will ever really get to that friend stage. A lot of people do struggle to make friends, you just have to be patient and reach out a little and you’ll find them

  3. I came into school stressing out that I would not have any friends to hang out with, but then I messaged my friend who I went to high school with and from there we created a group of six. Five of us all live in the same county and the sixth person is the roommate of one of my friends. We basically all stayed together for the first semester, but then right before winter break we were introduced to another group and now I have a group of about ten people. I never expected that this was going to happen, but I am so glad it did because I feel as if I had met some of my best friends. We are all close now and I am so thankful for them. If I did not message my friend Eleni in the beginning of the semester I honestly do not know who I would be hanging out with or if I would even be in the same place I am now. Everyone’s group comes at the most unexpected times, but you will be grateful when it happens!

Leave a Reply